Hey, remember when I actually wrote in this blog?

Yeah. It's been a while and I've kind of been avoiding this space because it's been a tough year in this department. So far this year I have only maintained a weight loss of 1.2 pounds. My weight has been up and down almost every week, which is really discouraging. It's especially hard because I know it's my fault. I am addicted to food, and I have to consciously control myself hundreds of times a day. It's exhausting. Some weeks I just let the food win. Other weeks I try to stay in the fight.

 Recently we bought tickets to New Zealand. We have been dreaming about taking a trip there since we got married but I honestly never imagined it would happen. Or at least happen this soon. I am glad that Tim is up for an adventure and I am so excited for us to be there together, doing amazing things. However, I don't want to be limiting myself or Tim in any way on this trip. At the weight I am, I know I will not be able to do everything I wish to do. I want to zip line and hike and bungee jump (maybe!). I just want the option of doing everything my heart desires and I want Tim to come back from the trip feeling like he did everything he wanted to do as well.

 So New Zealand is my new motivation to get healthy and try harder. I hope to return to this space more often to analyze how I'm doing and what I can be doing better. I also hope to write down weekly goals for myself: one food goal and one exercise goal. My food goal this week is to have Tim and I cook a meal from my weight watchers recipe book and my exercise goal is to go to the gym at least once.

 And now a picture of New Zealand because, hello!