It was the strangest thing. I was leaving work, pulling out of the parking lot, and I was smiling at one of my residents crossing the parking lot with her walker. I thought to myself, This is a nice place and I am happy to work here. I bet my grandma would love living here with the community as friends. Wait, maybe my grandma could live here. I could visit her everyday and check up on her. It would be so great! Oh, wait.
And then unexpected tears came on that ride home from work because I miss my grandma and I don't feel that I had enough time with her. Time, it's frustrating in the way that it feels like forever when bad shit happens but so short when the good stuff is going on. And my grandma was some of the best stuff that's happened to me in the past few years.
I think about her a lot during this weight loss journey. She always encouraged me to keep going. I think often she saw something in me that I didn't always see myself--perseverance, stubbornness, and drive to get to my goal. When I get down on myself, I think of her. She was self-disciplined and strong in so many ways I haven't had to be yet. Yet, she always told me, "Don't be too strict on your diet. Everyone needs to cheat once and a while."
I can still see her smile and hear her say my name as if she is standing right here next to me. Her presence is strong and I'm thankful for that.
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