Progress is slow.

It's hard to be satisfied with slow progress. Losing weight (if you do it in a healthy way) is a slow process, especially if you have a lot to lose. When I started, I had about 77 pounds to lose. So I knew I was in this for the long haul, but that doesn't make it less hard to stay consistent and be satisfied with slow progress. For this reason I find pictures so exciting. I can look at images side by side and compare how I looked then and now. 

Bethany bought me this jacket a while ago, somewhere around 10 months ago. When she first gave it to me, it was tight and I couldn't stretch it over my chest. Over time it became my measure of weight loss. This morning I was able to button it for the first time! Don't let the pictures fool you, it's tight when I button it and I feel more comfortable with it unbuttoned. But just the fact that I now can button it makes me smile because I never imaged when I got it how that would be possible. 

These pictures span 38 weeks in my weight loss journey. I can't say (without looking at charts) how much that has translated to in pounds. In reality the pounds don't matter, it's about how you feel and look. And these pictures say more about my 38 weeks than a number. I will use them to stay encouraged. 

My stats to date: This year through losses and gains I have kept off 4.8 pounds. My goal is still 30. 

inspiration.

I firmly believe it's important to reward yourself along the weight loss journey, and not with food! I repeat: DO NOT make food your reward. It defeats the purpose. So, my reward has been vintage dresses. I just found one that I love, and it's my new inspiration to reach 30 pounds of weight loss. I have 5.6 more pounds to go! Now I just have to pray no one buys it before me.

2014, Week 13

Last weeks gain of 1.4 started off this week on a bad note. I just felt so defeated. How could I gain weight when I had an awesome week? It didn't make sense, and sometimes it doesn't. As I thought about it throughout this week, I realized I was missing the point. Wasn't the point of this journey to find joy in food and eating rather than depression and guilt? Wasn't the point to feel good about my body and not hate the way I look? I said from the beginning, it's not about the numbers. It's really not, as hard as that is to understand sometimes. The truth is, I had a great week last week. Even if my number didn't reflect that, I am still proud of my eating last week. Bottom line, that's what matters. The number will fluctuate, but as long as I have learned a healthy relationship with food, I feel accomplished.

This week I lost .6. It's a small loss, but it has put me back on the upward swing of things. I want to get through this week and lose some more. It's all about chipping away at it slowly. This year through the ups and downs I have kept off 4.2 pounds. I am happy with it, considering I had a week long work trip and the death of my grandma in those weeks. My goal for this year is still 30 pounds and considering I still have about 29 weeks left, I think that is very doable.

I feel kind of vain posting all these pictures of myself but I have to keep remembering this is a really good record for where I am at and how far I have come. I know I will love looking at these pictures at the end of the year when I am down 30 pounds.